Counseling for Men: Helping a Loved One Seek Help

When someone you love is in trouble, the natural response is to want to help them. With some concerns, the best one can do is encourage a loved one to seek professional help. A professional not only can journey with someone, but they also have the expertise and training to handle complex issues effectively. Pointing a loved one in the direction of a Christian counselor or therapist who specializes in counseling for men can be a wise and loving move.

Men and Mental Health

People from all kinds of backgrounds deal with mental health challenges such as depression, anxiety, body image issues, loneliness, or anger problems. Regardless of gender, economic background, social status, culture, or any other factor that could differentiate us, we’re all mired in the same human condition which leaves us open to struggles of various kinds.

However, there are differences in the rate of prevalence of certain issues in men and women. Some of these differences are rooted in how men and women are socialized, as well as the stressors to which they are exposed. Men aren’t immune to mental health issues, but they can wind up struggling with issues alone even when help is available.

While mental health professionals diagnose depression around twice as often in women than in men, in the United States, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports that males die by suicide four times more than females, and males make up almost 80% of all deaths by suicide. More than six million men experience the symptoms of depression every year in America, and most do not seek out diagnosis and proper treatment.

Men experience stressors such as conflict in relationships, work stress, financial problems, isolation, career transitions, and more. During these situations, men need support, but often won’t seek it, or may try to make it appear as though they don’t need it. Men are less likely than women to seek help in the form of formal mental health support, and that can contribute to worsening symptoms and a declining ability to function day-to-day.

One reason men don’t receive the help they need is that the same mental health issues may look different in men than in women. For instance, a man with depression may indicate his distress in a different way through higher levels of aggression, irritability, self-isolation and withdrawal, or anger. On the other hand, a woman with depression may display it through sadness or a low mood, which is usually associated with depression.

Men who have mental health concerns will often choose to deal with the emotional or mental symptoms of it by self-medicating with alcohol or other substances. This may appear to deal with the problem, but it’s only burying and making the issues worse while creating new ones at the same time. That’s why counseling for men is so important, as it provides an opportunity for men to seek appropriate help to address mental health and other concerns.

Questions and Concerns Around Men’s Mental Health

If a man finds himself struggling with something like depression, anxiety, anger issues, or bipolar disorder, why wouldn’t he simply seek help? It may seem like an easy decision to others, but some real reasons and obstacles often stand in the way of a man doing what will help him most. For one thing, many men continue to grapple with harmful ideas about manhood that make it hard to admit need and to ask for help when necessary.

Another challenge that exists is the stigma surrounding mental illness. For a variety of reasons, mental well-being and illness are often looked at as oddly different from other forms of health and well-being. This often results in a mindset that says it’s okay to seek help for a broken arm, but it isn’t okay to seek help when your mind is working against you and affecting your mood and daily functioning.

The differences in how mental health issues present can also lead to not seeking appropriate help. Symptoms of certain conditions may look different in men than in women, and depending on one’s access to information, it may be harder to identify what they’re struggling with. This can make it harder to find help, especially if the health professional is looking for certain signs and not others.

An additional issue that can be a challenge for seeking treatment is that people of color will often tend to face challenges related to their ethnicity. The history of institutionalized and structural discrimination, dehumanization, and violence against people of color lends itself to and cultivates mistrust of authorities, including the healthcare system.

According to the National Alliance on Mental Health, 1 in 3 black adults with mental illness receive treatment, despite a greater likelihood of experiencing emotional distress than white adults. Some of the sources of emotional distress are rooted in social realities such as poverty, violence, fewer employment opportunities, and higher rates of incarceration. All this indicates that there are racial and cultural barriers to seeking care for mental health when it’s needed.

Lastly, practical difficulties such as a lack of financial resources may also be a barrier or challenge to getting help when it is needed. Treatment for many different mental health concerns is expensive. However, there are cost-effective means of treatment, such as group counseling or support groups that can provide meaningful support and tools to cope.

Counseling for Men: How To Help a Man With Mental Health Concerns

If you have a man in your life that you care about, seeing him struggle can’t be easy. Whether it’s anxiety, depression, PTSD, being on the spectrum, having body image issues, or some other concern that affects his daily life and well-being, there is a lot that you can do to support him and help him on his journey. Some of the things that you can do include the following:

Be present for him

No one wants to go through a tough time alone. You can be a supportive voice for him and let him know that you are there for him. Don’t ignore him in his pain or avoid him when his symptoms affect whether he’s good company or not. Let him know that you see him and that you’ve noticed changes in his life. listen without being judgmental toward him.

Don’t put him under pressure

It can be tricky when walking alongside someone to balance between pushing them to do things they don’t want to do and enabling them in unhealthy behaviors. It’s important to strike a good balance between these two poles.

Encourage him to make healthy choices

Self-care is important for mental and emotional health. Getting adequate sleep, eating a healthy diet, and exercising regularly are all effective ways for a person to take care of themselves, reduce stress, and elevate their mood and ability to regulate their own emotions. It’s unhelpful to tell him he just needs to stay busy, party, or just snap out of it.

Be patient with him

It can be tempting to expect that whatever course of treatment he embarks on will start yielding fast results. However, many mental health concerns only improve with time and consistent effort, so wait patiently to see tangible results. People heal at their own pace, and impatience may only wind up being detrimental to that recovery.

Patience will require fostering a healthy relationship with him that provides him with space to share what he’s going through, and to permit you to speak to his needs and situation. It may take him time to be able to communicate and manage his emotions and experiences in a healthy way. If you or other loved ones invite him to events, don’t pressure him to participate.

Help him to find treatment

Finding treatment can begin with helping him to find information about what he’s experiencing, and the treatment options available. Part of the process may also be for him to get educated about mental health, and to begin overcoming any stigma attached to seeking help. You can suggest that he goes to a health professional and help him to make an appointment.

Helping your loved one to find treatment might also look like offering to go with him to his appointment, as well as following up with him after the fact. In some circumstances, you may need to contact a helpline, 911, or a doctor if your loved one becomes a danger or a threat to himself or other people.

If you or a loved one needs support, talk to a doctor or other health professional about getting a proper diagnosis and appropriate treatment. Real help is available. Call our office today to learn more about Christian counseling for men.