Coming to Grips with Teenage Issues

Each generation of people has its own unique set of issues it needs to face in transitioning from being young children to becoming adults. Today’s teenagers live in a world dominated by images and rapidly flowing ideas through the ubiquitous presence of phones, televisions, tablets, laptops, etc.

The internet is a vast ocean of information, and without the necessary skills to navigate those potentially treacherous waters, they may shipwreck themselves. The usual growing pains that we all must go through are amplified and at times made more complicated by the very public nature of our lives on display in online forums and our followers on social media platforms.

As such, as teenagers go through their issues, there are other pressures at play. More than ever, parents must be savvy in helping their children make their way in the world as young adults. It has never been more vital for parents to maintain a healthy connection and open lines of communication with their children.

Teenage Issues Commonly Faced Today

There are far too many alternative avenues through which a child can receive guidance about life and how to deal with the messiness of it all, and many of though alternatives aren’t helpful. Below are a few of the issues that teenagers today face.

Puberty: Teenagers today, as in other eras, must face the reality of their bodies changing as they grow older. The hormonal changes and the changes heralded by puberty such as hair growth, acne, voices changing, breast development, the onset of wet dreams, menstruation, and so on can be disorienting and potentially distressing.

Some teenagers take these changes in stride, but for others these changes are uncomfortable. You can help your child through these changes by talking about them beforehand and while they are going through them. Talk with them and seek to normalize what they are going through so that it isn’t overwhelming.

Sex and sexuality: As they encounter hormonal changes, sex and sexuality come more to the fore. As many as about forty percent of high school students have reported being sexually active, and with that comes concerns of unplanned pregnancy, sexually transmitted disease, and abortions.

Have a conversation with your child even if you don’t think they may be sexually active. Some parents normalized conversations about sex when their children were much younger, and so in their teenage years, it is not a new conversation. However, it’s not too late to make a start and talk candidly with your teen about sex and guide them.

Dating and relationships: As your child gets older, being in a romantic relationship becomes an attractive possibility. As your child enters the teenage years, dating relationships become prevalent, and they are often the site of much peer pressure. As a parent, you can set expectations and rules around this and other areas of life. Have open conversations with your teen to communicate those expectations and to see where they are.

Identity: As your child becomes a teen, it’s a crucial time in their lives when they come more into a sense of their identity. They are discovering who they are, what they like and the shape of their sense of morality. This process of self-discovery doesn’t begin or end during the teenage years, but input during this time has a long-lasting effect. As parents, you have had input in your child’s life for most of their life. Continue to lean in and be present for them as a source of wisdom and an example.

Social media: Teens are spending more and more time online. While that may seem like a good thing, because it suggests they’re not getting in trouble in the “real world,” there are some areas of concern. There are issues of safety online, from their peers as well as from unscrupulous adults.

Not all apps and websites are appropriate for teenagers, and so you need to educate your teen and yourself about what’s out there. Social media is also a challenge because of the possibility that it may be taking time away from in-person interactions that help social development, relieve isolation, and are good for mental and physical health.

Bullying: Another unfortunate part of growing up is facing bullies. Not only do teens have to face bullies at school, but with social media and a larger online presence, cyberbullying is fast becoming more prevalent than bullying in person.

Being bullied can have enormous negative consequences on one’s sense of safety, self-esteem, and mental health. Talk to your teen about bullying and help them to work through what they can do if they witness bullying or if they start getting bullied.

Peer pressure: While they are growing in their self-understanding and identity, peer pressure can have a profound effect on your teen. No one wants to feel like an outcast, and that desire to fit in and not be isolated, along with FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) can lead teens to make poor choices that go against their mental health, physical safety, and morality.

Body and self-image: Some children face obesity and may be overweight. As their body changes, a teen may be uncomfortable with themselves and develop an unhealthy or poor self-image. Some teens may develop eating disorders to change their appearance. It is important to talk with your teen about and model healthy eating, positive self-image, and realistic expectations about beauty and body shapes.

Academic problems: Getting into good colleges has become something that takes years of careful preparation. One must be well-rounded, being involved by serving in a community or another capacity, in addition to other extracurriculars. Teens are under enormous pressure to perform academically so that they can excel beyond their peers and give themselves a good shot at the college of their choice.

Parents should talk to their teens about finding balance in life and setting healthy expectations of themselves. Sometimes teens have those expectations due to parental pressure, and while wanting our children to succeed is a good impulse, we should be careful not to cause our children to collapse under the desire to keep their parents happy.

Mental health concerns: It’s not only adults that must contend with mental health issues. Teenagers also experience depression (13% of teenagers may experience depression before adulthood) anxiety and eating disorders among other mental health challenges.

These and many other issues are treatable with professional help, and so it’s important to keep an eye on your teen and watch for changes in behavior such as losing sleep, eating way more or less than usual, lower school performance, reducing involvement in activities they enjoyed and so on. If you notice these and other changes, speak to your doctor or a mental health professional as soon as possible to get help.

Substance use and abuse: While illicit drugs and alcohol binging statistics are either holding steady or are declining, it’s still the case that teens are using drugs and alcohol. Some drugs like marijuana are becoming more popular as the legal landscape and social mores change, and around 30% of high school seniors report having drunk alcohol within the last month.

Underage drinking carries risks, not only to their health but in the poor choices that result when intoxicated. Speak with your child about some of those realities and share your expectations with them about the consumption of alcohol and drugs.

Christian Counseling for Teens

Each child is unique, and so the issues they face and how equipped they are to face them will differ. You know your child best, and so you are best placed to tell if there are changes in their behavior that signal potential issues. As a parent, you must be willing to have uncomfortable conversations with your children, sharing your wisdom and experiences with them.

It’s a conversation, so it’s not just about you talking; you must also listen to them and let them express their opinions and understanding. More than ever before, parents must be engaged and take up their role as the most influential people in their children’s lives, as there are many (unsuitable) surrogates out there who will fill the parental vacuum.

You don’t have to go it alone – you can also avail yourself of professional help in the form of a therapist or other mental health professional to help you address issues with your teen. You don’t have to wait until you feel overwhelmed and out of your depth to reach out for help.