Depression in Men: Knowing the Signs and How to Help

What does it mean to be a man? There are many ways to try and answer that question and many ideas about what makes a man a man. Some of the ideas about what makes a man “manly” are determined by our culture and can be quite harmful to a person’s well-being. For instance, in some spaces, it’s considered manly to hide one’s emotions and suffer in silence. Others look at manliness as not showing any weakness or needing help from others.

Whichever way one decides to define manliness and what it means to be a man will have consequences on the emotional, mental, and physical health of men. With many health concerns, being able to address them as soon as possible through treatment helps bring the issue under control before it worsens and causes further issues in a person’s life. This means that healthy self-awareness and the willingness to seek help are important.

A key issue that affects men and women alike is depression. More than 6 million men suffer from depression every year, and those numbers are often underreporting the true situation because many men don’t talk about what they are going through. The unfortunate result is that many men end up functioning below their capacities, and others end up taking their lives when a timely intervention could have provided much-needed relief.

Depression in men

Whatever their socialization and the expectations placed upon them may suggest, men are people, and they suffer from what everyone else does. Depression, which is often referred to as major depressive disorder, clinical depression, or major depression, is a serious mood disorder and mental health condition that affects how a man thinks, feels, acts, and handles everyday activities.

Depression is common among men, with around a third of men (30.6%) experiencing a period of depression in their lifetime according to the American Psychological Association. When a person is feeling depressed, it’s more than just feeling down. Depression makes a person feel irritable, sad, hopeless, and empty, and it can also make them lose their interest in things that used to bring pleasure.

Various factors may be at play in causing depression, and each man’s situation will be unique. An event such as getting divorced, the prospect of losing a job, work stress, the death of a loved one, experiencing abuse, loneliness, having a close family member with depression, taking drugs and alcohol, or having a serious medical condition can all affect whether one develops depression. Depression can also develop without a clear cause.

One of the issues that often stand in the way of men getting the help they need is the strong need to project a certain image and to appear competent. If a man’s upbringing or personality leads them to the conclusion that it isn’t masculine to express emotions or seek help when struggling, this may lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms and attempts to cover up what’s going on.

The signs of depression in men

Depression in men and women doesn’t always present the same way. When most people think about depression, the symptoms that likely come to mind include being sad and tearful. This isn’t always how depression is indicated in men, and that is one reason why it’s often missed or overlooked. A man and the loved ones in his life need to recognize the signs of depression so that appropriate treatment can be sought.

There are some symptoms of depression that men and women have in common, and these include losing enjoyment or interest in things, changes in appetite and weight, getting too little or too much sleep, having trouble with concentrating and remembering things, feeling agitated or tired, and feeling low, guilty, empty, or sad.

Some of the more subtle ways that depression in men will show up include the following:

Feeling hopeless

A man may experience a loss of drive and have a persistently negative outlook for the future. This might be expressed in thoughts and words such as feeling like the world would be better without them, that their life is not worth living, or that they aren’t important or valuable.

Being irritable or inappropriately angry

Depression can shorten one’s temper, and rather than being sad and tearful, a man may display fits of anger when he’s depressed.

Escapist behaviors

As an unhealthy way to cope with depression, a man may turn to work, exercise, video games, sports, or other forms of escaping the reality of depression.

Risky and self-destructive behaviors

This is another way depression may manifest in a man as he tries to numb emotions that are too difficult or painful to talk about or confront. These behaviors include experimentation with drugs, drinking too much alcohol, gambling, reckless driving, and having unsafe sex.

Violent, abusive, or controlling behavior

Depression in a man can often look like hostility and aggression. He may cease being as gentle as he was before and start trying to control others even as he’s struggling to hold things together for himself.

Physical ailments

Depression might bring about ailments such as digestive issues, headaches, backache, tightness in the chest, muscle pain, or a racing heart. These don’t have any easily discernible source, and they don’t go away with the typical treatments applicable to them.

Sexual dysfunction and low libido

Depression can lead to erectile dysfunction, difficulty with arousal, a lower sex drive, or absent or delayed orgasms.

Thoughts of suicide, and suicide attempts

While men have lower reported rates of depression than women, they die from suicide more often than women. That may be due to using methods more likely to result in death, showing fewer signs of depression, not talking about it with someone, and acting more suddenly on thoughts of suicide.

Suicidal thoughts or threats shouldn’t be ignored, and they should be dealt with by getting help right away by contacting a suicide hotline.

How to help a loved one who is depressed

When a person has depression, it can change them in subtle as well as obvious ways. If there is a man in your life, whether he is a friend, family member, or romantic partner, and you think that he may be experiencing depression, you can help and support him in this as in other seasons of his life. That help might look like being present and talking with him about how he is doing.

Depression is a serious but common mental health condition that doesn’t get better by itself. It is a mood disorder that one can’t simply ‘get over’, and in the same way that one goes to the doctor for other serious ailments, depression requires treatment from a health professional. You can encourage him to make an appointment with a doctor, even if only to discuss their physical symptoms.

Talking with someone about depression can be a delicate matter. Being a nonjudgmental and empathetic listener helps to create an open environment in which conversation about depression and its symptoms can take place. Should your loved one get diagnosed with depression, you can support them by helping them be consistent with their treatment plan.

Depression can be treated through various therapies, medication, self-help interventions, and complementary therapies, depending on the severity and type of the symptoms experienced. These may be used by themselves, or in combination to reduce the symptoms of depression and restore the ability to function day to day.

Some of the alternative and self-help interventions that can be useful in dealing with depression include getting regular exercise, meditation, eating a healthy and balanced diet, getting enough sleep by practicing sleep hygiene, avoiding drugs and alcohol, acupuncture, creating structure through a daily routine that makes daily activities more streamlined, and breaking down tasks into smaller units to make them more manageable.

The treatments to help with depression include cognitive behavioral therapy, which helps one to identify unhealthy or distorted patterns of thought and replace these with healthier ones. Interpersonal therapy may also be used to help address depression. Medication may also be prescribed, and these may include antidepressants and mood stabilizers. These medications will often take some time, around 4 to 6 weeks to be effective.

Depression may be a serious mental health condition, but it is also a manageable one. It can be managed with treatment, and a man with depression can go on to recover and regain a sense of himself again. If you or a loved one might have depression, reach out and speak with a mental health professional such as a counselor. Contact our office to set up an appointment today.