Relationship Advice for Men: On the Value of a Mentor

When we’re young, there’s usually no shortage of people who want to tell you what you should do. Parents, older siblings, friends, teachers, your seniors in school, and so on. The strange thing for most of us is that the older we get, the fewer voices we have in our lives to mentor us. Up to a point, most of us prefer it that way, but that means we’re often left floundering on our own.

One of the ways many men are socialized is to be self-sufficient, and being competent is highly valued. That can put a man, any man, under enormous pressure to have everything figured out and to know how to do things. It can leave little room for learning, making mistakes, and simply showing that you’re clueless about something, especially in front of people who expect you to have the answers.

Doing Life with Others

Proverbs 15:22 (NIV) reads, “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” Our lives were never meant to be solo ventures, and we certainly don’t have wisdom enough to tackle every problem by ourselves. We are, by the Lord’s design, deeply relational creatures, and that includes seeking wisdom from one another to do life well.

Another Scripture to take to heart is Proverbs 27:17 (ESV) which says, “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” A solitary iron tool cannot sharpen itself; it needs contact with something of equal or greater strength to smooth its rough edges and sharpen it. Deep and meaningful relationships with other men can make a man sharper, and better at what he does. This happens in other areas of life as well, like at work or in sports.

The Value of Having a Mentor

One way to build a meaningful relationship that spurs you on to become the best version of yourself is to have a mentor. A mentor can be someone whose life and character you respect. They are older than you, or senior in one way or another. The main idea is that when you look at them and how they’ve lived, you want to be like them in certain respects. The way their life has turned out, and the qualities they display are things you’re aiming at.

There are different ways to find a mentor, including simply asking them directly to perform that role in your life. A mentorship relationship can also develop naturally as you interact with someone. Either way, there are numerous benefits and great value to be had by having an older mentor, and these include the following:

Life experience and wisdom

An older mentor has been through various seasons in life, and they have lived through various challenges. They can share valuable insights and guidance for the challenges and situations you’re facing today. Your mentor can share practical advice, guidance, and feedback to help you achieve your goals.

Role modeling

Not only does a mentor offer guidance through their words, but they can demonstrate through their own life how to navigate life’s complexities, make wise decisions, cultivate emotional intelligence, and develop resilience. Paul indicated something of this when he wrote, “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1, NIV).

Networking opportunities

An older mentor has likely been working, whether in your industry or another, for longer. They can introduce you to people in their network, which can potentially lead to new connections and opportunities.

Personal growth and development

Your mentor can give guidance beyond your professional life. They can help you identify areas for improvement and support your personal growth. Your mentor can offer a listening ear, encouragement, and support during difficult times, and they can also promote accountability so that you stay focused and motivated to accomplish your goals.

Perspective

Having an older mentor, especially if they’re from a different generation than you, can help to provide you with a broader context and understanding of historical events, cultural heritage, and social dynamics. Having that inter-generational connection with them helps to bridge the gap between generations, fostering mutual understanding and appreciation.

Purpose and legacy

Having a mentor who’s older and in a different phase of life can help you develop a sense of purpose and contribute to a deepened desire to leave a positive and lasting legacy.

Having someone in your life who functions as an older mentor can be a valuable resource for your personal and professional growth. Such a person will help you develop as a person as they provide you with a unique perspective and guidance to help you navigate life’s challenges and complexities.

You can reach out to someone like a life coach to figure out how to identify a potential mentor and establish a mentorship relationship. Search our directory if you would like to meet with a life coach in our offices.