A Few Key Things To Understand About Death Anxiety

We all have things that make us uncomfortable or afraid. Sometimes this discomfort of fear is due to past experiences we’ve had that we’d rather not repeat, but at other times we are trapped in a deep fear of something happening that hasn’t yet occurred. Either way, we can find ourselves at the mercy of that fear, dreading it and possibly avoiding enjoying life to the full because of it. One such fear that can range from mild to crippling is death anxiety.

What is death anxiety?

Thanatophobia, which is also known as death anxiety, refers to a fear of death or of the process of dying. If you have death anxiety, the thought of death, or even hearing about death may cause significant distress, anxiety, sadness, and anger. One may have these strong feelings as they reflect on their mortality, but it can also come from thinking about the (eventual) death of a loved one.

Having some death anxiety is common and normal; the Bible talks about death as an “enemy” (1 Corinthians 15:26), and one that God is going to destroy. Death robs us of relationships with loved ones, and it disrupts the enjoyment of life, and the blessings God has given us, so having some death anxiety should resonate with most people.

Death anxiety becomes a serious problem, however, if it begins to intrude on daily life and functioning. Thinking about death can become so all-consuming that it prevents a person from feeling motivated about pursuing goals relating to their work, family, or relationships.

If it prevents you from taking trips, exploring new career options and opportunities, or starting new relationships, or forces you to adopt rituals to soothe that anxiety, then it has become problematic and needs to be addressed.

Death anxiety can manifest in various ways, including the symptoms of a panic attack such as chills, heart palpitations, shortness of breath, and nausea. Other ways in which death anxiety can be indicated include the following:

• Avoiding places or situations that seem dangerous.
• Avoiding places such as hospitals, a funeral, or particular places that remind you of death or dying.
• Having intense feelings of panic, fear, dread, or depression caused by thoughts of death.
• Becoming obsessed with your health and constantly checking for signs of illness.
• Constantly checking up on loved ones to see if they are fine, and worrying if you don’t hear from them or miss a call.
• Persistent and intense worry, guilt, sadness, or anger at the thought of death. You may worry about leaving loved ones behind, or of being left behind.

Causes of death anxiety

Where does a fear of death come from? Some fears about death and dying are triggered by personal experiences of loss; the thought of other loved ones dying can become overwhelming.

If a person witnesses another person experiencing a difficult or painful death, or if they have a traumatic experience which is related to death and dying, that may also cause death anxiety to develop. As a person gets older, they may begin to think more about their death, or their loved one may begin thinking about it a lot more.

The fear of death may inform other fears, such as a fear of flying, of open water, of spiders, or of crowded and confined spaces.

Cultivating a healthy relationship with death

Death can’t be prevented, but one’s attitude toward it can change so that it doesn’t seem so threatening and doesn’t disrupt one’s day-to-day existence. Treatments such as talk therapy and techniques such as cognitive behavioral therapy can help a person identify and address unhelpful and unhealthy thoughts and behaviors surrounding death, as well as challenge those thoughts and replace them with healthy and constructive ones.

Your counselor can also help you to work through any avoidance behaviors you engage in to not deal with thoughts and feelings about death. Avoidance only serves to worsen the anxiety and should rather be replaced by more effective coping methods.

Cultivating a more balanced view of death that doesn’t avoid or dwell morbidly upon it will help you to move past fear toward a healthy acceptance of the reality of death. Medications may also help address other co-occurring conditions such as depression.

Unfamiliar things can take on a life of their own; by the same token, when you’ve experienced something, it can loom large in your mind’s eye and dominate you. For the believer in Jesus Christ, death ought not be a terrifying prospect.

This is not because death isn’t disruptive or destructive; rather, it’s because Jesus’ resurrection from the dead means that death doesn’t have the final word (1 Corinthians 15, 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18, Revelation 21:1-5). The reality of what Jesus has done can be appropriated and help us cope with what may at first appear unknown and overwhelming.

If you struggle with thoughts and fears about death, reach out to the reception team at Thousand Oaks Christian Counsling to schedule an appointment to talk with a Christian counselor in Thousand Oaks, California who can help you process and work through those thoughts and emotions.