4 Bible Verses to Help When Surviving Divorce

In the United States, about 50% of married couples divorce, making it the sixth-highest divorce rate in the world. While it may be common, it is certainly not in line with God’s plan for marriage.

The result of the breaking of this important covenant is terrible grief and pain, not only for the individuals involved but also their children, if they have them, and close friends and family. Of course, no one enters into marriage thinking it will end in divorce, and dealing with it can be an extremely difficult season.

As a Christian, there is great comfort in knowing that while God hates divorce, he loves divorced people, and does not condemn you over the situation. Rather, he stands with his arms wide open to provide compassion, gentleness and love – and this incredible hope can be accessed by meditating regularly on Scripture and praying to this all-seeing, all-knowing Father. If you are in the valley of despair in surviving divorce, here are four Bible verses to reflect on in this time.

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. – Psalm 147:3, NIV

The first thing to do when surviving divorce is to admit your suffering to God. Too often we feel the need to “be strong,” especially if we have children and want to put on a brave face. While limiting emotional outbursts in front of children can be helpful to avoid unsettling them beyond what they are already experiencing, it is necessary to be honest about pain in order to move through the grieving process.

As the Christian basis for divorce is understood to be due to marital unfaithfulness or abuse, there can be enormous emotional wounds to be healed. The Psalmist states the promise in the verse above that God can heal us from this state of broken heartedness.

This truth can be extremely comforting, as often when we are in the middle of deep psychological turmoil we can feel completely alone. We may feel that absolutely nothing or no one will ever be able to help us escape the pain. Reflecting on this verse reminds us that God is the great physician, and that he will guide us on a journey of recovery.

For we know him who said, ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ and again, ‘The Lord will judge his people.’ It is a dreadful thing to fall into the hands of the living God. – Hebrews 10:30-31, NIV

Given that there can be great pain for those surviving divorce because of unfaithfulness or abuse, dealing with feelings of betrayal and anger can be overwhelming. The path to forgiveness is extremely hard, but absolutely necessary. If you do not get to this point you will end up with bitterness, which will only taint your life going forward and is likely to not affect the person to whom your anger is directed.

A biblically trained counselor can be extremely helpful in navigating you through the various stages of healing. A Christian counselor will be able to point you to verses such as the one above, which reminds us that God is the judge and that no deed or sin committed will not be brought to account.

While we might feel like the other person in the marriage is not suffering the consequences of their behavior, it is reassuring to remember that justice will be ultimately served, but that this is God’s role and not ours. It can help strengthen our understanding of God’s character, in that he is full of compassion and love, but also holy and perfectly just.

And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 4:19, NIV

This verse in Philippians encourages those in the throes of surviving divorce that, while they may no longer have a spouse to provide for our needs, God is able to meet them, and extravagantly so. These needs might be financial, given that a divorce can create financial burden, especially for the person who wasn’t the main breadwinner in the marriage.

They could also be other needs which a marriage partner is supposed to fulfill, such as the needs for affection, companionship, and intimacy. It can be hard to get our minds around the fact that a relationship with God can be “everything we need.” But the Bible affirms this promise and often those who fall at God’s feet, having lost everything they valued, find indeed that the Lord Jesus is as close a companion as can be found.

God can also help us practically in this time of need by providing friends and a network of support (ideally through church community). When it comes to our finances, God will provide a source of sustainable income. Our role is simply to trust in him, and not our own understanding of what the situation might look like. As Jesus said in Matthew 19:26 NIV, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.’ – Jeremiah 29:11, NIV

A common emotion for people surviving divorce is hopelessness. How can you possibly move on from having your closest relationship and everything linked to it destroyed? This is the main weapon that Satan will use against believers in this time – discouragement.

This verse from the book of Jeremiah is immensely powerful and casts a perspective on a future that is not filled with difficulty, sadness, and turmoil, but rather a positive and prosperous one. Meditating on this Scripture will help us see beyond the present moment and be encouraged that, even during dark days, there is hope.

God loves to redeem the broken pieces of our lives for his glory. All we have to do is come to him and ask him to do his work in us. What amazing grace!

We can also refresh our focus on our eternal future. This life is fleeting, but for those who have trusted in Jesus and the forgiveness his death brought, we can look forward to an eternity filled with his glory. The more we fixate on this reality, the more temporal our current sufferings can seem.

Surviving divorce

There is no denying the reality that surviving divorce is a challenging experience. Without God, it is easy to plunge into despair, or, alternatively plunge ourselves into another relationship or some other distraction in order to escape the pain. But for Christians we can be encouraged by the fact that, in our weakness, Christ will be our strength.

If we cling to him, he will give us the comfort that our hearts need, alleviate our pain and loneliness, fill in all the gaps where we feel that there is a lack, and even bring us through it with joy. Psalm 30:5 NIV says: “For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.” The kind of joy which we can experience is not in and of ourselves, but comes from the Holy Spirit.

This kind of strength will also be an amazing witness to unbelieving friends and family members, who may only see vengeance or anger as the means of handling this kind of relational breakdown.

When they see you choosing to trust God, and working through coming to a point of forgiveness, they will be confused and hopefully, through it, come to know the Lord themselves. This is perhaps one of the ways in which God “works for the good of those who love him” (Romans 8:28) and also how he redeems our suffering so that we might consider it “pure joy” (James 1:2).

If you need more help surviving divorce, don’t hesitate to reach out to a compassionate Christian counselor. You can gain perspective and practical help in your journey of healing when you speak with a counselor.