Biblical Tips for Coping with Divorce

Coping with divorce may be one of the hardest valleys through which you have ever walked. It’s hard enough to deal with the divorce itself, but coping with the fallout is another challenge. This article offers encouragement for you straight from God’s Word.

Coping with divorce.

Divorce is like a nuclear bomb going off in a family. You don’t recover from it right away. It’s a long grieving process that can greatly benefit from the insight and practical help offered by a Christian counselor.

As you learn to cope with divorce, one of the best things you can do is turn to God’s Word for help. Reading, studying, and meditating on the Bible can be a way to find an oasis of peace in the chaos of emotions and problems you are facing.

These are the best Scriptures that can keep you on track as you walk through the valleys of coping with divorce.

For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called. – Isaiah 54:5

Remember that in the heartache you face after divorce, God is faithful to you like the spouse you wish you would have had during your marriage. He can perfectly meet all of your needs, which even the best human cannot do. Take your unmet needs to your heavenly Father, who created you and knows you inside out. He will provide for you like a devoted husband.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. – Ephesians 6:12

Every day you are facing a battle in the spiritual places. The enemy Satan wants to steal your peace, joy, and hope after your divorce. But you need to fight back against his schemes more than you fight back against your ex-spouse. You might have been attacked with your own emotional turmoil, losing your true identity in Christ, believing in the lies of Satan about the lack of your worth, or facing many fears. If you have children, you may be heartbroken for them and their future.

Remember that Satan wants you to feel all those negative feelings and have all of those negative thoughts because he is the liar, deceiver, and stealer of anything that is from God. Remember biblical truths, that there is nothing that can separate you from God’s love, that you are fearfully and wonderfully made, and that you are His chosen and beloved. “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.” – Ephesians 6:10-11

Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life. – Proverbs 4:23

After divorce, your heart is especially vulnerable. You may want to drown your sorrows with anyone or anything that will make you feel better, even for a short while. You may also be tempted to start a smear campaign against your spouse and their lover if there has been infidelity.

But God calls you to a higher road. He wants to help you guard your heart, which is the seat of all your emotions. When you are tempted to lash out or self-medicate, cry out to God in prayer and ask him to stand guard at your heart, protecting it from temptation.

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. – Romans 12:12

It’s easy to lose hope, patience, and the will to pray after your divorce. But God will carry you through the hardest times you face in coping with divorce. He wants you to rejoice in the hope you have in him because his character never changes.

The Holy Spirit will grant you the spiritual fruit of patience to help you endure the troubles you are facing. With every step you take, make sure you are praying, and you’ll feel closer to God in your sorrow.

Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.” – Matthew 18:21-22

Forgiveness is one of the most important things you need to do after your divorce. It’s one of the best gifts you can give yourself because it will set you free of the bitterness and resentment you are tempted to feel.

You may have to forgive repeatedly as you cope with the aftermath of divorce. Though you may not feel warm and fuzzy, you can tell God you are willing to forgive, and he will help you surrender the debts owed to you day by day.

More ways of coping with divorce.

Divorce recovery is a long and difficult process. But there are many things you can do to make the transitions easier to face. These are ways to keep coping with divorce as long as it takes you to heal.

Commit everything to prayer.

Prayer is needed more than ever after divorce. The Bible promises that God is close to those who are brokenhearted and crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18). As you carry all your hurts and fears to the Lord, he will comfort and sustain you.

God understands what it is like to feel betrayed by those he loves. The Israelites abandoned him many times, ignoring his love and mercy. Jesus was also betrayed by his closest friends in his time of greatest need. The good news is that God understands your pain. As you commit everything to prayer, he will embrace you in your suffering and guide you in the next steps to take.

You can meet God in prayer whenever and wherever you want. Commit to meeting him daily, bringing all your pain, sorrow, anger, and frustration to him. He will heal you and help you through the crisis you are facing.

Let your feelings flow.

Divorce causes a wide range of feelings to erupt. At first, you may feel shocked and offended. You may cycle between shame, anger, depression, fear, and worry. One moment, you may blame your ex-spouse for all that happened, then you may blame yourself.

This rollercoaster of emotions can feel overwhelming. But it’s essential not to bottle your feelings. If you do, you may explode, act irrationally, or develop depression. As painful as your feelings may be, you need to let them flow.

Journaling is a good way to let your feelings flow. Simply write them down without self-editing to get the raw emotions out where you can see them. As you record them, you’ll be able to see places where you need to make corrections. You’ll also be able to track progress over time. You can let God guide your journal writing and keep it for his and your eyes only.

Take one day at a time.

Divorce creates a myriad of choices and transitions. You may need to make changes to where you live, what you purchase, whether you need to take on more work, how you take care of children and pets, and who to tell about the divorce. Your friendships, shopping habits, finances, and more will likely shift, and all these changes at once can be overwhelming.

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. – Matthew 6:33-34

Resist the pressure to make all these decisions at once. It’s better to not make big decisions when you are experiencing a crisis. Take one day at a time, even one moment at a time, relying on God to give you guidance, direction, and wisdom about your choices. He is with you in the transitions you face, and you can seek support from others as well. A Christian counselor will help you avoid making decisions you might later regret. Take your time and you will have greater peace.

Practice self-care.

Recovering from divorce requires a lot of energy. It’s important to take good care of yourself as your mind, heart, body, and spirit heal from the trauma you have experienced. Make self-care one of your top priorities.

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. – 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

This means setting aside time each day to do something enjoyable just for you. Self-care might look like a bubble bath, a favorite television show, a new book, or a nature walk. It doesn’t need to cost much money – just make sure it’s something that builds you up.

Good self-care includes getting enough sleep, eating healthy, staying hydrated, and exercising as you are coping with divorce. These activities will protect your health and well-being, which will promote healing. Self-care is a good way to remind yourself of the priceless value you have in God’s eyes.

Give Yourself Time to Grieve

Divorce is a huge loss that needs to be grieved. You’ll need to go through all the stages of grief to fully heal. These stages include denial, anger, bargaining, deep sadness, and acceptance. You’ll likely cycle through many of these stages on a daily and weekly basis as you grieve the many losses associated with your divorce.

You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. – Psalm 56:8

Grieving can’t be rushed, or it will show up in other ways. You may get new health problems if you don’t fully grieve, or your repressed anger could leak out onto your relationships. The entire process could take many months or years. A Christian counselor can walk with you through the grieving process.

Christian counseling for divorce recovery.

This is my comfort in my affliction, that your promise gives me life. – Psalm 119:50

If your world has been devastated by divorce, there is no shame in reaching out for professional help. Regular meetings with a compassionate Christian counselor can help your heart heal. We have experience helping many people recover from divorce and get to a healthier and happier place in their lives. Schedule your first appointment with us today.