How to Deepen Your Relationship with God

If you’ve ever had one, you know that a good relationship isn’t easy to come by. It often takes some effort to find a person you really get on with, and you must keep investing in the relationship to strengthen and deepen it. Though many of us aren’t farmers or have green thumbs, we understand that it takes work, attention, and care to grow living things until they reach maturity. The worthwhile stuff in life typically works that way. It’s no different when we think of our relationships in general, and our relationship with God in particular. It requires work.

When it comes to strengthening what you have with God, another way to think about deepening that relationship with God is to think of it as spiritual growth. And just as with any other kind of growth, it takes time, concerted and deliberate effort, and perseverance to make progress and bear fruit.

Christians believe that God is already working in his people through the Holy Spirit, who aids, leads, and comforts them in various ways. That doesn’t mean we don’t have a role to play in cultivating the relationship that starts and ends with God’s grace. If all relationships, including our relationship with God, require us to put some work in, what kind of work are we talking about here?

Taking steps toward growth in your relationship with God

Much of the work that we do in growing spiritually and thus deepening our relationship with God flows from the work that God has already done for us. As a person saved by grace, you do nothing to earn God’s favor or approval. Indeed, we can do nothing without him, as Jesus reminds us in John 15 and as Paul reminds us in Ephesians 2.

But God gives believers the strength and resources they need to grow and walk in a manner pleasing to him. Every step of the way, God gives believers strength and the grace to walk faithfully. The believer’s role is to be obedient by leaning into that and using what they’ve been given. And so below are a few thoughts about how believers can make use of the resources available to believers to deepen their relationship with God.

Take it and read. Reading the Bible is one of the main ways one can get to know who God is, the promises he has made and fulfilled, and a lot more. For Christian spirituality, there is no greater source of wisdom and knowledge about God’s desires for the world.

Praise the Lord that in places like the United States it’s not illegal to own or read a Bible, and you can find one about anywhere you care to look. Not only that, but you can find dozens of translations. Reading the Bible exposes a person to God’s thoughts and what he desires for our lives.

If you want to know someone, it’s necessary to hear their thoughts and see how they view the world. There’s no better way than to read the Bible for yourself and get familiar with it. There are podcasts, websites, Bible study booklets, and more, that will help you work through the difficult passages and get comfortable with them.

In addition to reading the Bible itself, there are lots of other resources available that can help you deepen your relationship with God. From autobiographies and biographies where you see how other people who love God lived, to books that help explain and apply the Bible to our daily lives, there is so much out there for us. Speak to a spiritual leader you trust and ask them for recommendations about where to start, and which authors are good travel companions for your journey with God.

Let’s have a chat – the place of prayer

The Bible gives believers a window into God’s thoughts, actions, and character, etc. But the discovery and relationship don’t have to end there. Another of the gifts given to believers is that they can pray to God. God is alive, and so hears people when they pray.

Talking to God (which is the essence of prayer) doesn’t have to be a complicated thing. You don’t have to use flowery language – as Jesus reminded people in Matthew 6, making a show of lengthy prayers gets you nowhere. As one prays, one can put their fears, hopes, burdens before God. “Cast your anxiety upon the Lord, because he cares for you” reads the first letter from Peter.

Prayer reveals our hearts, and it’s another way for believers to get closer to God. It’s very vulnerable work, and God often transforms believer’s hearts in and through their prayers. Whether you’re a pray-in-the-morning-and-before-bed type of person, or if you pray throughout the day, the ability to talk to God any time of day and from anywhere is a remarkable gift that can transform a believer’s relationship with God.

All in the family

Yet another remarkable gift that believers have been given to deepen their relationship with God is the fact that they have been adopted into a big family that spans the globe and has been there throughout the centuries. The family of God is large, and it is comprised of people who will walk alongside us, encourage us, keep us going and hold us accountable.

That’s why having fellow believers in your life is spoken of so highly throughout the Bible, and why so many stories of believers across the centuries depict them within communities of fellow worshippers. “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another – and all the more as you see the Day approaching,” reads the letter to the Hebrews.

When you meet with like-minded folks, it reminds you of what you know to be true. Like all families, it can get complicated, but where possible continuing to meet with your spiritual family goes a long way toward deepening your relationship with God because God cares deeply about how you relate to other people.

Besides that, did you notice the words “one another” in the Hebrews passage? There are many “one another” passages in the Bible. “Love one another” (John 13.34). “Forgive one another” (Col. 3.13). “Show hospitality to one another” (1 Pet. 4.9). “Pray for one another” (James 5.16). “Comfort one another” (1 Thess. 5.11). “Bear one another’s burdens” (Gal. 6.2). “Be kind and compassionate to one another” (Eph. 5.21). These are but a few examples.

Charles Moore has pointed out that the life of a believer is a “one another” type of life. To lean into all that God has for his people and to grow closer to God, a believer’s life is meant to be lived in community with others. We can’t be obedient if we don’t have people in our lives with whom we practice those “one anothers.”

Our culture can be very individualistic, and that has crept into our understanding of spirituality as well. It’s not a case of “me and God” against the world. “Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates a brother or sister is still in the darkness,” reads 1 John 2:9.

John, who was one of Jesus’ closest disciples goes on to say in even stronger terms, “Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister,” (1 John 4.20-21).

Give it time 

Life doesn’t happen all at once. From looking at nature, things take their time to grow. When it comes to deepening your relationship with God, you should also give it time. As you start reading the Bible, engaging people who have walked with God, praying, journaling, and so on, you’ll find that something work for you and other things don’t.

Perhaps meditating on Bible verses works well for you when you’re coloring. You just need a quiet space to reflect on what the Lord is saying to you. Perhaps fasting is a great discipline and you find it enriches your connection with God, or it’s something you can’t do for health reasons.

All of this takes time to figure out, and the longer you’re at it and the more you get to know God, the more you’ll realize that because God is infinite in wisdom, mercy, love, holiness, grace, and creativity, you’re going to continue growing for the rest of your life on into eternity. The relationship may face challenges here and there, but it can continue deepening forever. The important thing is to keep taking steps each day, no matter how small, to grow closer to God.