11 Anger Management Activities to Help You Calm Down

Anger is a common emotion that has loads of references to it in the Bible challenging and encouraging us to deal with it constructively. That’s because when anger is out of control, it can devastate not only our lives but the lives of everyone it touches. Words or deeds done in anger may happen in an instant, but the repercussions can be felt long afterward in our lives and relationships. Here are some anger management activities to help you get your anger under control.

11 Anger Management Activities to Help You Calm Down

Anger management therapy is geared toward helping a person understand what lies at the root of their anger, what drives and shapes their angry response to situations, ways of reframing their thinking, ways to constructively express anger, and understand the impact of their anger on others.

These anger management activities will help you when dealing with anger. If you find that you struggle with anger, make it a priority to see a licensed mental health professional for help.

Relax

When you become angry, you tend to tense your body, ready to react to whatever unpleasant situation you’re in. Your physical reactions are primed toward aggression, and you need to relax your body and its posture.

One way to relax is by using progressive muscle relaxation, a technique designed to relax your muscles. Starting with your toes (or your hands), clench them and hold that posture for about ten seconds, then you slowly release the clench.

Then, move on to other areas of your body, like your legs, glutes, stomach, back, and so forth, clenching those muscles and holding for ten seconds, then releasing the clench slowly. This will not only relax your posture, but the process of focusing on your muscles and the count will draw your attention toward that and away from whatever was making you angry.

Move

Not only is it great for your overall health, but movement and exercise help with reducing stress, releasing feel-good brain chemicals that improve your mood and your sense of well-being. Whatever your workout of choice, whether it’s running, walking, hitting a bag, swimming, or cycling, engaging your body through exercise can help you reduce tension and give you a positive outlet for your anger.

Breathe

When you’re feeling angry, you may have noticed that your breathing gets quicker and shallower. It’s one of the physiological responses of our body to a stimulus, and it’s just the way the body gets ready to act in the situation. Instead of letting your breathing get out of control, one way to begin calming yourself down is to practice deep breathing.

Take in a long deep breath, about five seconds long through the mouth; hold your breath for a second or two, and then release it slowly through your nose for another five seconds or so. Breathing in slowly and deliberately sends the message to your body and brain that everything is under control, and that starts the process of calming down and regaining control.

Recognize and know your triggers

When you know yourself, you also know the kinds of things that tend to trigger your anger. Knowing your triggers enables you to avoid them, and when they do occur, you are prepared to curb your reaction.

For example, if you know that bad traffic and rude drivers are your triggers, you can plan for this by taking an alternate route to work, or heading out earlier when it’s still quiet, or you can rideshare and have someone else take the wheel, or you can load up some calming music or a good audiobook to focus on during your commute.

Don’t dwell

When something rankles you, thinking about it repeatedly typically only serves to make you angrier. Instead of dwelling on the things that someone did to you, or what has happened to you, avoid dwelling on the same things and focus your attention elsewhere.

Take a time out

We usually think of taking a “time out” as something only for children but taking time for yourself to reflect and calm down is a great idea for adults as well. If you find yourself in a heated situation where you’re getting angry or are already angry, rather than stay in the situation and probably say or do something you’ll regret, it may be better to remove yourself from the situation for a few minutes or altogether.

Go to a separate room, and practice some deep breathing, listen to a calming song, or do some progressive muscle relaxation until you’ve calmed down. Giving yourself the space to calm down and process your thoughts will do you and the people around you a world of good.

Picture this

Another exercise to do to help you deal with anger is to visualize yourself feeling calm and peaceful, or in a serene setting. Expending energy to picture yourself in the state you want to be in can help you begin calming down.

You can also picture yourself writing a letter to someone who struggles with a similar anger problem. What advice would you give them to calm down and deal with their anger? Take that wisdom that you’re passing on and begin applying it to yourself and your situation.

Slow down and listen

Sometimes, our anger is unfounded because what we think we’re hearing is not what was being said. Taking the time to listen empathetically and hear what the person is saying, not what you think they’re saying is one key step toward dealing with our anger.

Refusing to jump to conclusions and slowing down before you get angry can go a long way towards keeping things calm (James 1:19-20). Remember – not expressing your anger can sometimes be as unhealthy as expressing it in an outburst.

Take a different tack

Our words often have more power than we know. One proverb from the Bible says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits” (Proverbs18:21). The way we speak has subtle but powerful effects on us and the people around us.

One way to use that subtle influence in a positive way to change your thinking and assuage your anger is to get rid of “never” or “always” statements – statements such as, “You never listen to me when I talk” or “You always ignore my feelings”.

These totalizing statements leave little room for the other person; they are absolute, and they confirm your feelings that there’s no room to feel much else or allow a different interpretation of events. Instead, avoiding those “always” and “never” statements while speaking with “I” statements until you’re calm will go a long way.

Question your perceptions

When you’re in the moment, anger can distort things. Instead of unquestioningly accepting that our perceptions are the reality, taking a step back to try and see things from the other person’s perspective can go a long way toward helping us calm down and feel less justified about how we feel.

You may very well be correct in your first assessment of things but taking the time to pause and think things through from another angle can make the difference between responding calmly and constructively and lashing out at someone’s mistake.

Look for solutions

Lastly, we can become stuck in a problem-finding mindset to the point where we drown in our anger over the problem. One way to channel that anger in a constructive direction is to focus on finding solutions to the issue instead.

Anger is an emotion that warns us that things are not the way they are supposed to be. It is a powerful emotion and when expressed/channeled in the right way, it can be constructive and bring about change. When inappropriate, or left unchecked, our anger can be sinful. These exercises as well as worksheets that are available online can help you begin to bring your anger under control and restore your peace.