5 Signs of Anger Issues

In society, anger is a widely accepted emotion. With the proliferation of social media, people are angrier than ever. This, paired with conflict and turmoil in our world over our political landscape, causes people to be afraid. People often act out of anger when worried or upset about something.

People also turn to social media and post their anger in memes and hurtful comments to others. Although many people are angry, many do not have the coping skills to deal with their anger. Therefore, they either stuff the anger or project their anger onto everyone. This explosion alienates relationships and puts a strain on relationships with loved ones.

For Christians, anger is a taboo subject. Many people believe that Christians should never act angry or have any other negative emotion to be considered a Christian. People confuse anger with being mean or hateful if that anger is expressed to others. Since the world tells them love is a feeling, anger can’t possibly be godly as it creates a negative emotion.

However, Jesus had anger. Jesus showed emotions when he cried and got angry. People don’t always know how to deal with their anger, which manifests differently. Here are five signs of anger issues that need to be dealt with appropriately:

Signs of anger issues: passive-aggressive behavior

Passive-aggressive behavior occurs when a person says or does something in anger instead of expressing it openly to the other person. For example, a person may intentionally ignore or dismiss the other person, not listen to their advice, show a lack of support for a person’s personal needs, etcetera.

Many men choose to use a passive-aggressive route when they’re angry at someone, particularly a female because they cannot take their anger out in violent behavior such as fighting. Therefore, they comment behind their significant others’ backs and gossip about them to their friends to vent. They may not express themselves when they are angry over a small annoyance, but then, during the fight, they may use that annoyance to hurt the other person.

Whether male or female, passive-aggressive behavior is not a healthy part of a good relationship. An angry person needs to bring their aggression to God in prayer. They can journal their feelings or seek counseling to process their emotions.

It is not to be taken out on another person. Although passive-aggressive behavior is challenging to spot, you have a person using their actions for words to fuel their anger, which is more than likely this passive-aggressive behavior.

Quick to become irritated

An angry person is often irritated easily. This irritation can be set off simply by waiting too long in line, an impaired driver on the road, or a difficult coworker. These little irritations can add up to big annoyances and overboil someone’s anger. A person doesn’t have to explode, yell, or scream to be angry. Many people hide their anger well, yet it comes out in other ways.

It is essential for someone who is angry to deal with their anger effectively. When a person is confronted with something that makes them angry, they need to ask themselves why this makes them angry. They can also ask themselves how to deal with the situation in ways other than anger.

An angry person may just not have explored other alternatives to anger. Everyone becomes irritated; it’s something that happens from time to time. However, if the irritation is not resolved or dealt with properly, it can become more explosive as time progresses.

Derogatory comments or actions as signs of anger issues

An angry person may not want to show their anger. They may not even be aware of the depth of their anger until they start making derogatory comments or demonstrating that they disrespect a loved one. This can be as simple as a comment about someone’s character.

Still, it can also be as overt as ignoring or dismissing a person’s opinion in public or humiliating a person in public. When this person makes derogatory comments in public or private, it will wreak havoc on relationships.

It’s one thing to make a derogatory comment during a conflict. Creating conflict where anger comes out for no reason is quite another. This might leave the receiver stunned and confused about where the comment originated. This confusion can be especially true if the person has never demonstrated angry behavior.

Sometimes, heart-to-heart conversations with a loved one can be helpful. Two people who care about each other should not make the other person feel undervalued or disrespected. Respect and trust are two keys to a healthy relationship.

Avoidance of intimacy or affection

A person may not say anything that demonstrates anger, but it may be what they don’t do that demonstrates anger. For example, the ordinarily affectionate person who likes to say words of encouragement or will give a tender personal touch may avoid these actions. It may go so far as two people in a romantic relationship abstaining from sex.

A couple that has not had sex in some time needs to explore why this is the case. Anger may be at the root of that reason. Both parties must talk things through. Their conversations may be difficult at first, and many things may be said, but in the end, it might be good for both parties to express themselves openly. A conversation may be the gateway to regaining the intimacy and affection the couple lacks.

Signs of anger issues in avoidance of God/spiritual things

An angry person may be unable to blame someone for their anger. However, they may be mad at God. For example, they may have prayed for a specific outcome or difficult situation only to feel that God ignored their request. When people believe God is refusing their requests, it is easy for them to blame Him.

Because they believe God is supposed to be just love, they can’t understand why God won’t heal a person who is sick or stop their suffering. Yet, in this broken world, Jesus promised we would have trouble.

The person who begged the Lord to stop their suffering only to find that the person has died may have difficulty believing in God. Therefore, their anger may build up, causing them to become angry at people and God.

Often, the root of people’s anger at God is their desire for justice. Therefore, they become angry at loved ones because it helps them get a sense of justice. The person who is mad at God may start by attending church less and less. Then, they may stop praying and reading the Bible. They may not want to hear from God because they believe He is unloving or unjust.

They’re getting angry and taking that anger out on God and avoiding a relationship with Him; they feel they are getting the justice they need here on earth. God promises He will get justice for every wrong in this life. However, He never promises that we will see justice here on earth.

In heaven, every wrong will be made right. But sometimes, we need to wait until heaven to see it. Someone who has asked for justice here on earth and not received it to may want to get it by taking their anger out on someone else.

God is a big God, and He can handle our emotions. However, it grieves Him when we do not participate in the intimacy He desires for us. One of our most significant sources of joy in this life is our intimacy with our Father. When we avoid that, we miss out on the joy that God wants us to have in this life.

If you have anger issues that need to be addressed, a therapist can help. Call our office today to schedule an appointment and begin your journey to healthier relationships and dealing appropriately with anger.